“NELSON MANDELA WAS PROBABLY CAPTURED TRYING TO RUN AWAY FROM THIS DISGUSTING PLACE, WHICH MASQUERADES AS A HOTEL RESORT”

<p>THE ULTIMATE RIPOFF DUMP</p> <p><br /> Holidaying at a Russian Gulag is preferable to enduring the disgusting dump known as Everglades Country Estate hotel. This writer was caught by what seems to be the criminally fraudulent system contrived by the crooked owners and management, whereby a totally contrived and glitzy website, with airbrushed photographs, is totally at odds with the tawdry and dilapidated reality and uncaring useless service of the so-called management, a con artist called Patience, and her unwilling staff. Consider what we encountered:</p> <p><br /> 1. Upon arrival, guests are warned on a sign of leakage in the rooms. Guests are housed with the staff in a building which looks like it was a stable used by General Sir Redvers Buller’s troops during the Boer War, and has not been properly renovated since that time. SEE TWO PHOTOS OF THIS BUILDING.  Staff come and go at all hours, not concerning themselves with their noise disturbing guests. There are suspiciously few staff and possibly only one “manager”.<br /> 2. All the buildings are scruffy and dilapidated, like something in Chernobyl or a Syrian refugee camp in France. The dining room has uneven flooring, like a military obstacle course, the “coffee shop” having only 3 items.<br /> 3. The carpets and furnishings are also Buller-era, age- and dirt-wise, and there is the hint of a constantly lingering odour, reminiscent of something long dead or an aged septic tank. When we returned home we had what suspiciously looked like bedbug bites.<br /> 4. The food, when it is finally brought by the lackadaisical, sour and antagonistic staff, brings a new meaning to “blandness” and is so ineptly put together with strange ingredients, it is tasteless looking and inedible. After an initial couple of servings of this swill, I forbade my party to eat anything more for the duration of our visit.<br /> 5. There is no security or proper parking, and guests are expected to use what looks suspiciously like a horse run.<br /> 6. Of amu*****t is that the woman Patience, after repeatedly denying to various aggrieved gusts that she was the manager, eventually admitted she was. At no time did we experience her checking up on her staff, or ask guests how they were enjoying their “holiday experience” (an experience akin to holidaying in Aleppo}. Our bill was wrong, and is still in dispute because of her disinterest in fixing it. One wonders if the place has been highjacked by criminals, as happens in Hillbrow. Refunds are never given to the many complaining guests.<br /> 7. The tennis court is in long disuse, in contrast to the lying website, and looks pockmarked with machine gun bullets, the ripped net hanging despondently tangled with debris and webs.<br /> 8. In contrast to the sunlit and inviting image of the pool on the lying website, the harsh reality is a vista of sickly green water, with dank, urine-coloured light glinting from below. <br /> 9. The pool room looks like it was visited by a group of drunken Hells Angels, with every single pool cue broken and the tables at such odd angles as to offer berg-climbing practise.<br /> 10. There are no telephones in the rooms thus no way of summoning help in emergency. There is no room service. There are no barmen serving the bar. What conveniences there are seem to be aimed at the pleasure of the staff, not guests, and staff carrying mouth-watering dishes compared to our grubby fare, constantly passed our “stable”, smirking with quiet glee at us.</p> <p><br /> Only a masochist would holiday at this veritable hellhole. Only the surrounding scenery offers succor.</p> <p><br /> On a very serious note, this place needs to be shut down. It likely does not have a license to operate. It has no star grading but 3 or 4 stars fraudulently appear on various booking websites, which contain severe criticisms of Everglades with better ones which look suspiciously contributed by the owners and management. It appears they have been criminally operating by the “law of averages”, whereby some tourist pay upfront and are suckered in, whilst the more experienced wisely move on with wide-eyed alacrity.<br /> </p> <p>Everglades is a blight upon the South African tourism industry, and the Minister of Tourism and Hawks need to take an interest and close it down without delay. Also the SA advertising authority. The impression on foreign tourists caused by this criminality must be devastating to SA. The SARS needs to do an investigation because slips are not issued for services paid for, and it is likely the fiscus is losing out.<br /> </p> <p>The management and owners need to be prosecuted and locked up in prison. At least their accommodation and food would be better than that of Everglades.</p> <p>Room Tip: Try another hotel or rather sleep in the bush.    SEE PHOTOS OF CRUMBLING BUILDING WHERE GUESTS SHARE SUB-STANDARD ROOMS WITH STAFF MEMBERS.   THE RESEMBLANCE TO A FORMER STABLE IS UNMISTAKABLE.</p> <p> </p>