LS
Leo S
Active since Jun 2023
6
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6 reviews34 months ago
I tried Mandy's hair removal creme for the first time today.
Lo, though I soon learned that the prophets which spake of Hell fire verily spake truth! Within 5 seconds of applying the product to these forbidden regions I felt an increasingly intense burning sensation. Choosing to see this as a challenge to my masculinity I laughed to myself and proceeded to wait for the remainder of the 4 minutes. Sweat was beginning to form on my forehead, but it was finally time to use the little, plastic s****per thing to rid myself of those cursed hairs. First swipe with the s****per - my mouth surely dropped open in horror at the pain. I clearly remember looking down to ensure that only hair was removed and not skin! Second swipe - random expletives and nervous laughter. Third swipe - whimpering. Seriously. Then I got the bright idea of watering down the Mandy's before continuing with the hair s****ping. I hoped for merciful, healing waters. Instead, the fiery lake of Beelzebub descended upon my flesh! Realizing then that water was only going to re-activate the now partially dried up lotion, I hurried s****ped off more and more hair. Hobbling to my shower I decided that i would instead wash it and my hair off as fast as I could. After 15 minutes of washing myself in the shower over and over the pain had greatly subsided. It was finally over! Happily drying myself I remember laughing and thinking "I must have a really high pain tolerance", once more confident in my masculinity. Then, to my horror I realized that not only was the pain gone, but that I no longer felt hardly any thing down there! Like a deer staring at headlights I stared downwards while my mind screamed "... did they die?!!" Lotion - I hastily found my savior and baptized myself with its cool, soothing relief. Ever so slight burning sensation ... mild burning ... very hot burning ... suddenly I felt the pain of a thousand paper-cuts exposed to jalepeno peppers! Sprinting to my nearby box fan I stood there shaking, hoping for salvation. The cool air changed nothing. I ignored the warnings of the prophets and there would be no mercy for me! For the next 20 or so minutes I paced back and forth desperately waiting for the punishment of my transgression to cease. Oddly, the pain did cease and quite suddenly. I think that numbness has set in, like when you eat waaay too many hot peppers. Maybe my skin just died. Either way, my trials and tribulations are over, so I am truly joyous! Heed the words of warning inscribed on the bottle - spare yourself the flames.
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34 months ago
No more winning for you, MR. Banana!
For decades I have been trying to come up with an ideal way to slice a banana. "Use a knife!" they say. Well...my parole officer won't allow me to be around knives. "Shoot it with a gun!" Background check...HELLO! I had to resort to carefully attempt to slice those bananas with my bare hands. 99.9% of the time, I would get so frustrated that I just ended up squishing the fruit in my hands and throwing it against the wall in anger. Then, after a fit of banana-induced rage, my parole officer introduced me to this kitchen marvel and my life was changed. No longer consumed by seething anger and animosity towards thick-skinned yellow fruit, I was able to concentrate on my love of theatre and am writing a musical play about two *****s from rival gangs that just try to make it in the world. I think I'll call it South Side Story. Banana slicer...thanks to you, I see greatness on the horizon.
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34 months ago
Delivered right quick with an easy setup.
A delivery person left the package on my porch. Upon bringing the package in from the cold abyss, I quickly deployed a sharp object to open said package. Therein, I laid a visual on the SIM card and found it to be in-tack and in good health. I proceeded to set up my apn using the world wide web and a URL that was given to me in a pamphlet. I followed their protocol to get the apn to interface with their cellular towers. And finally, I was online. At this point in time, I was satisfied of it's functionality. I then placed my cellular apparatus in a shoebox and neatly tucked it under my bed and never plan on using it ever again. I believe the device and shoebox to be OSHA certified. Back to the wallows I go where I may play with sticks and stones instead of the contraptions of the overworld.
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35 months ago
It is one of the nicer places int he country when it comes to public spaces.
The V&A Waterfront in Cape Town is a must-visit destination for anyone traveling to the city. Here are some of the top things to do and see at the waterfront: Take a harbor cruise and enjoy the beautiful views of the city and the ocean. Visit the Two Oceans Aquarium and see a variety of marine life. Go shopping at the many boutique stores and markets. Enjoy a meal at one of the many waterfront restaurants, ranging from casual to fine dining. Take a guided tour of the area and learn about the history and culture of Cape Town. Overall, the V&A Waterfront is a great place to spend a day or evening, with something for everyone to enjoy. In a country where we cannot seem to catch a break from crime and awfullness, it was nice to feel safe in this space.
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35 months ago
This is the best Tyre shop in the region, hands down!
I recently visited an autoparts shop that has been very generous with their pricing. The owners seem to love their work and care about their clients. They were knowledgeable and helpful, and the prices were very reasonable. I was impressed with their service and will definitely be returning.
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35 months ago
Woolworth's is no longer a real luxury grocery store chain.
I recently visited a grocery store chain that has been known for its quality, but unfortunately, the quality has deteriorated over the years. The prices have become outrageous for what they offer. The produce and meat sections were not as fresh as they used to be, and the customer service was poor. The store was also not well-stocked, and many items were out of stock. I was disappointed with my experience and will not be returning to this store.
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Review Distribution
5 Star
3 (50%)
4 Star
1 (16.666666666666668%)
3 Star
1 (16.666666666666668%)
2 Star
0 (0%)
1 Star
1 (16.666666666666668%)