Surviving the Red and Yellow Circus: Part II Confessions from the lion’s den

Surviving the Red and Yellow Circus: Part II Confessions from the lion’s den

“To work here is to perform. To stay here is to survive. To speak here is to disappear.”

I didn’t write last week’s review.

But I could have.

When I read it, I felt something I haven’t felt in months: seen. It was raw. It was uncomfortable. And it was painfully accurate.

Since then, the campus has been electric with speculation. Who wrote it? Why now? And my personal favourite: “They’ve clearly exaggerated - it’s not that bad.”

But here’s the truth: for many of us, it is that bad. And some days, it’s worse.

Working here demands a strange sort of performance. You learn to smile while unraveling. To write creative strategies while dodging structural chaos. To clap for initiatives you know won’t land.

Everything is branded - even burnout. You’re expected to juggle three jobs while maintaining the illusion of balance. Say you're overwhelmed? You’re “not agile enough.” Struggle with unclear expectations? You're “not solution-oriented.”

We’ve learned to mute the symptoms. We’ve learned to adapt to dysfunction. And we’ve learned that silence is safer than honesty.

There’s a unique brand of manipulation here — soft-spoken, professionally worded, and backed by just enough plausible deniability to avoid accountability.

You’ll attend meetings labelled “constructive alignment” and leave feeling steamrolled. You’ll be told to speak your mind, only to be told you’re being “negative.” You’ll ask for clarity, and receive performance targets wrapped in motivational jargon.

Micromanagement thrives in the form of “support.” And every mistake — real or perceived — becomes a warning story told in whispers.

One of the hardest truths here? Not all pain is treated equally.

Some colleagues have access to empathy. Their discomfort moves mountains. Their feedback triggers urgent action.

Others? We’re told to be resilient. To “assume positive intent.” To “trust the process.”

Over time, you learn who gets to have feelings — and who gets labelled as “too emotional” or “difficult to manage.”

The whispers are getting smarter. We’ve stopped venting and started documenting.

There are receipts. There are timelines. There are stories waiting for oxygen.

We are screenshotting the inconsistencies. We are tracking the shifting expectations. We are backing up the files they think we don’t keep.

No one is trying to burn it all down. But many of us are quietly preparing for the moment when the truth is no longer deniable.

“Last week’s review wasn’t a scandal. It was a mirror.”

I’m not the first to speak. And I won’t be the last.

You can try to find the author of the original piece. You can hold closed-door meetings and look for suspects. But you’ll miss the point entirely if you don’t ask: why does this story resonate with so many of us?

So here’s to the anonymous suggestion box. Here’s to the second voice, and the third, and the tenth. Here’s to speaking while we still have the strength.

Signed, A colleague who's still here. For now.