The review that Yuppiechef and SMEG do not want you to read

You know how companies check out their review before publishing them on their website? Yes they do. If something comes along that is slightly non-complimentary it is sent directly to the virtual ******* bin. This review was written a year ago. Although it involves a SMEG product I am drawing attention to the service levels of these two companies. Here it is for your reading pleasure:

I will be honest with you up-front: I am a complete SMEG fanboy. I have totally bought into the beauty of Italian design. Just the word SMEG has the “halo effect”. That means that you are blinded by sharp rays of sunshine that resound with elegance, beauty and a price to match. For quality you must expect to pay the appropriate price.

SMEG does not need to have a show-room. They should check out my kitchen. Anything that does any heavy lifting is there. And more. I have invested heavily in the brand.

Following the market demand, SMEG has now has also gotten into producing appliances on the peripherals. Think coffee grinders, kettles and toasters.

When I needed a new hand blender it was a no-brainer. I snapped up the SMEG. This device looks great on the kitchen counter. The blender feels solid in the hand even though it resembles a device created for female pleasure. Once you see it you can never un-see it. Anyway, it works - well.

Now I am not sure if this blender was built in Italy or China. Either way I uncovered a fault: the rotating joint in the blender resembles a Phillips ***** head and the matching joint on the blender attachment is a matching Phillips design. Have you ever stripped a Phillips *****? Of course you have. Now you get the point. The joints are made of plastic. Yes - plastic. Not tungsten, titanium, chromium or rhenium. Plastic.

Now imagine a 700W motor driving against plastic joints. It will eventually strip. It has to. It’s just a matter of time. That’s what happened to me.

So I check the warranty. YES! It’s still under warranty. So the blender makes it’s happy way back to Yuppiechef and on to SMEG.

After I while I get the reply from SMEG that the fault is not covered by the warranty and I will need to pay for the repair. I have banged my head against this “not covered by warranty” reply many times. So have you. It’s no use - you can shout and scream and jump up and down as much as you want. It does not help.

So I think about the repair. The price to repair the blender is more than half the price of a new blender! For 2 little pieces of plastic… That tells me that SMEG is into selling new blenders and not repairing them. But I do not want to waste money as the rest of the blender is in perfect condition. So I pay Yuppiechef for the repair.

Time passes followed by more time. No word from Yuppiechef.

I ping them with an email asking how my repair is going. They pong me back with an apology saying it is still with the supplier.

More time passes.

I ping Yuppiechef again and am ponged back with a beautiful note saying they will escalate the problem with SMEG.

By now I am getting frustrated because I am beating egg whites by hand and it’s causing cramp in my hand.

Next I try to blend a basil pesto by hand. Epic fail.

Another ping. This time I am told that SMEG is waiting for the part to arrive. Maybe next week. Not sure.

It feels like Yuppiechef has an Artificial Intelligence (AI) apology bot that they use to reply to my emails. The reply is apologetic and there is always a different excuse. I think about writing my own AI bot to ask about the progress. That would be cool - 2 AI machines talking to each other.

But I do not have the time - I am busy blending a wasabi mayonnaise. By hand.

The pressure and frustration to get this thing repaired now reaches a peak - my Spousal Unit needs to use a blender and she is over me like a rash. I have no answer for her. My final ping. I am ponged back saying the SMEG person is in Johannesburg for the week and can we wrap this up when he gets back next week? Maybe SMEG has also got an AI excuse bot? Dunno.

By now 2 (two) months have passed and I have had enough of this game. Two months for a mega-company like SMEG to repair a simple little hand blender? Something is off in some smelly Italian kitchen. If the blender does ever get repaired will it work? If it does not I am back to the warranty dilemma. Enough.

I tell Yuppiechef to refund me the money I paid for the repair and to pass the message on to SMEG that they can throw the blender in the ******* - where it belongs. I hope they dispose of it in a sustainable manner and not just throw it in the sea.

Folks - learn from my pain and frustrations: this is a nice piece of kit, but if it breaks throw it away and find another blender. Thank me later.

Now I am walking the long and treacherous path to finding a new blender. This time I am wearing shades so the halo does not blind me.