Ward 4 - worst place on earth

Life Poortview Psychiatric Hospital

Ward 4 PLEASE IF YOU HAVE A FAMILY MEMBER OR LOVED ONE THAT YOU WANT TO SEND THERE, PLEASE READ MY EXPERIENCE BEFORE YOU GET THEM INVOLUNTARY COMITTED.

Just to give you a bit of backgound as to why I was involuntarily committed there. I went to another facility where I had regular follow up appointments with my psychologist and by the end of the session she mentioned something that happened to me that we need to discuss in our following session. I felt triggered but realized that I must now ground myself because I am on my way to visit my son and it is a 40min drive to him. On my way out of her office, I realized that I cried a lot during the session and that my makeup must have been running all over my face, so before leaving to go to my car I made a pit stop in the bathroom where I washed my face and while i was looking in the mirror I got triggered by that same memory again and before I knew it I broke the mirror and started cutting myself.

That facility felt that they needed to admit me at Poortview because they felt they didn't had the adequate staff or room to keep me safe but I refused to be admitted so they send me to Poortview as an involuntary patient because that was legally the only option they had.

Ward 4 is a specialized closed off unit where they treat people that is out of touch with reality. I wasn't out of touch or delusional in any way and as an involuntarily patient found it very Traumatic.

My first night I spend there I was in a room with 4 beds. It was very hot and I did not have any clothes there accept the ones I came in with. During the night I was sweating and decided to take my pants off and put it next to my legs underneath the blankets. During the night one of my roommates were all over us and there lots of disturbance and they were screaming, and when I wanted to stand up to see what was going on, all my clothes were gone. My pants, socks and shoes.. I asked the nurses and soon learned that this lady takes everyones stuff and puts it on. Numarous times she was cought wearing other peoples close and because she is a big lady she streches the clothes to try to wear it. But I really felt for her. She had that thing, but she also was the sweetest person. But because she was so busy the whole time she mostly spend her days in the isolation room where she banged on the door, screaming and begging to come out.

In the ward with me was also a schizophrenic guy. He honestly believes that he is in danger and that people are trying to kill him. It did not help the situation bacuse of being in Ward 4 where he was locked in and he did not trust the staff. He would get these extreme outbursts banging on the door screaming for help trying to get out. I soon started making friends with him because when he is calm he is a nice afrikaans, christian guy. So when he had outbursts I would go to him and tell him I am here and you are safe and I am looking out for you. In some way that helped and he felt more at ease. My first official complaint I want to make is how the staff treats the patiants. They openly tease and make fun of the patients that are clearly in distress! And what bothers me is that the whole Ward is covered with cameras and the camaras has audio, which means that there is no way Management do not know about this. And its not like the nurses are talking sofly about someone - its loud and directed towards the patients.

Another roommate of mine was sleeping when I arrived and I soon noticed that they were deliberately making her that way. They will wake her up to give her another sedative Than there is a thing on hygiene.. Some of the patients that are there do not have contol over their bladders or do not know how to use the tiolet. The cleaners do not come in often and the nurses are busy. So, many times we would enter a bathroom that is wet and pooed all over, so we must cleaning it ourselves with the tiolet paper, but that means it is just on an eye level clean. The whole place stinks of urine and poo and there is no windows and the extractor fans doesn't work. One of my new roomates had a bladder issue and as she was laying next to me I could hear her pooing on herself. She actually stood up and went to the nurses fo ask if they could change her but the nurse got annoyed and told her to come back in an hour. This is my official complaint nr 4. If they cannot provide or care for the patients they must refer them to a place that can help them.

On day 6 I was moved to Ward 1, which is an open Ward. Everyone that saw me, the drs and staffs first reaction was "Are you glad to be in the new Ward" but every time I heard that question, I just wanted to cry. To me it felt like someone locked me inside a room where, ****d, abused and traumatized, then suddenly taken into the other room where they put me in a pretty dress and handed me candy and asking me, if I'm happy its over.

I cried for 2 days straight where I cried so much I struggled to put my sentences together because I was still there (in that same building) - even though I can now go anywhere, I was trapped with no one to trust or to help me.

This is my 3rd day out of hospital, and I think that maybe it was the punishment I deserved for what I have done. But the scars that it left is much deeper then those i came in with. I am still afraid..