Ambulance service "Gary"

Hi guys, even after 10 years after my dad passing away, I am still heartbroken, and traumatized after witnessing the coldness n lack of empathy given by an ambulance nurse name Gary, Gary worked for the 911 ambulance service for the umhlanga hospital, he was a tall, brutish Caucasian guy.... My dad was lying on the couch dying... And he was roughly seeing to him... Gary screamed and asked my dad "is he deaf".... That's the last tym I saw my dad alive... I'm researching, and new science info says that even tho the heart stops... The dying person is aware of everything.... Just so sad... I wish I could just confront Gary years later...