★★★: RADISSON BLU UMHLANGA

The Radisson Blu Umhlanga offers a unique dining experience: Are you ready to test your patience? If you're up for dying of hunger, then this is the place for you! Craving three scoops of ice cream and have 36 minutes to spare? Look no further than the Radisson Blu. Need a cappuccino after a long day? Only 35 minutes away! For dinner with a view, place your order around noon and expect it to arrive fashionably late by 6:05 PM. Room service? Their Margareta pizza, while basic, arrives piping hot after a comedy and drama-filled three-hour wait. Want to relax with some TV? Enjoy flicking through channels for days only to find a marvelous black hole in the wall instead. Forget modern service; this overrated 3-star motel in Umhlanga delivers a wonderfully shocking blast from the past, circa late 1800s. Great location, unforgettable experience! (Denvor Govender)